Serendipity

I had the privilege to be a part of Martin Middle School's inaugural story night.  This is an event that Carmen Williams, Martin's librarian, has wanted to do for quite some time. Finally, her dream came to fruition. It was exciting to see her plans and dreams unfold to a night of success.

I have difficulty describing the sweetness that permeates the environment at Martin. It is something I think you have to breathe in and allow it to envelop your being. I wish I could capture the emotions and find the words to describe how I feel when I am there. Tonight was no different. Families love their school and neighborhood. The staff and teachers love the students and their families and want them to be successful.  Martin is a place that speaks encouragement and understanding to the the obstacles that the majority of their student's face.  It speaks hope and resilience to fragility and weariness.

Watching Carmen was an experience in and off itself. She was, as to be expected, nervous. You have a dream or vision and you can only hope that others will be on board and that participation will confirm the need.   As families entered the building, you sensed this anticipation of something exciting on the horizon.  From infants to teens, the enthusiasm in watching story tellers, making book marks and puppets, and sharing a meal was uncontainable.

For many of us, we take story night for granted. We read stories to our children every day; we lounge in our favorite chair and enjoy the latest bestseller,  and we download our next read on our iPad.  We roam through the library as though it is our home. For the families at Martin, this is not the norm. Many of them have no access to the internet, have no favorite author to follow, and do not have a library card because they lack a  permanent address. Imagine you have no home, books within your home and you don't speak English and yet, you want all that is available for your children.

 Magically, or so it seems, a night like this happens and you have the opportunity to see your children growing in knowledge and love for books.

I  am moved to tears by what I see happening at Martin. It speaks volumes to my spirit as I face the end of another semester.  I am inspired and reminded that this is why I am at the University of Texas.  I have to chuckle as I ponder my luck to be working on an oral history project with Martin. I am their facilitator for oral history and yet, they are my lifeline of confirmation to press on to the goals I have set before me.  My desire is to bring tools to children to be successful in spite of the obstacles. In comparison to what I have already gleaned from Martin,  I can only hope that I will be able to give back as much as I have received.

Serendipity....Meeting Genevieve, a UT student studying library science, who just happened to be at story night because one of her peers volunteers at Martin. Genevieve went to Martin 19 years ago. We had a delightful conversation regarding her experiences and I look forward to further interviews with her as we move through oral history startup and completion,  Another beautiful accident, meeting Polly. Polly worked at Martin and has lived in the Holly Street neighborhood for over forty years.  Excitement is an understatement as I conversed with two women who have a wealth of information regarding this community and school.

Love Learning and Die Trying!

When I made the decision two years ago to pursue my love for learning, get a degree in psychology, pursue grad school and hopefully counsel and teach young men and women, I knew it was going to have its challenges.  I have felt it would all be worth  it.  Little did I know the broad range of obstacles, from technology to test taking.  There have been many near failures coupled with minor and major victories. 

As I sit here, four weeks from finals,  I have to look at my performance.  In my eyes, I have not only  performed well but I have loved the process (at least most of it).  I am looking at my performance in terms of what I have gained and what I have accomplished.  The path is one of joy and the love of learning.  My measuring stick says I still love learning.   And yet, academia requires that I take a breath and look at my score, a number. The numbers are not impressive or astounding. They are not, in my opinion, a reflection of the love of learning or the knowledge I acquired.  Three of my five grades reflect a lack of trying or a lack of understanding or possibly to some that I don't care.  This could not be farther from the truth. The answer...multiple choice testing. It is an evil assessment  for someone like me.  Ask me to write a paper, do a project, involve myself in the lives of others, and take an essay type test. I got that! I don't, however, have the ability to decide between A and B even when I know it isn't C and D. It has been an ongoing battle since my arrival in the halls of higher education.  

But, I refuse to be defined by the number and so I strive to accept that I will not look amazing on paper in those classes that require multiple choice testing; however, I will look like the stellar student in those courses that allow me to write and create and share my knowledge in a way that allows me to express myself and dialog about what I know. That feels good. So, I continue to press on and meet with professors hoping that they will get the one size fits all approach is a deadly weapon for not only me but for many of my peers.  

It is the round hole with the square peg type of problem or as we read last week "Wicked Problems." This is one of them. In my opinion, young men and women leave the halls of many universities due to the lack of encouragement and discouragement that comes with not performing at the required level. Is it because they can't or is it because the rubric is designed to measure all of us the same?  I would have to challenge the egocentric thinking of those in higher education and say, "it is broken; please fix it." 

Until the system is perfected and evolves to be one where success is measured by personal growth, love of learning and a variety of combined measuring instruments, I  am forced to live with the gap between my grades and my knowledge. I will, however,  not give up. Disregarding one of my professor's comments that "maybe you are not cut out for grad school," I continue to pursue the dream of getting my PHD. I know I can do it.  So, I press on and in spite of the discouragement I sometimes feel, I continue to apply myself.  I can only hope those individuals, who see my grad school application and hold my future dreams in their hands, will see beyond the current measuring stick and see me for what I can offer and bring to their program.  I choose optimism and enthusiasm. 

I also know I am not alone. I have talked to many of my peers who battle the same war of trying to find success in a system that doesn't meet their needs.  For some the multiple choice test is a relief over writing a paper or an essay and then for others, like me, the multiple choice test is a guillotine. Regardless of where you fit in, don't give up! Continue to pursue your goals and dreams!  More importantly, love the joy of learning.  Along the way, you encounter those teachers or  professors, like Jeffrey Wright, who inspire and encourage!   

Wasteland

The movie Wasteland captured my attention in many ways. I was completely caught off guard by the insurmountable amount of garbage/waste. My initial reaction was one of horror and pity for the people who were the "pickers."  As the movie continued and the story unfolded, my heart and reaction changed. The garbage picking was a way to survive and make a living in a respectable manner. It is hard to comprehend initially and yet, I was so encouraged to hear the "pickers" talk about the pride they had in doing this type of labor versus resorting to prostitution or selling drugs. Regardless of the way the job could have been demeaning, they had found this wonderful attitude and it was refreshing and encouraging!

 I am reminded, once again, of stereotypes and how quickly we make assumptions about people based on their conditions and without knowing the complete picture of a person's life.  It was easy for me to assume that they were miserable and deprived. They had so much joy and pride in the work they did. Wow! What a lesson in laying down judgement. It was also quite refreshing to see the work ethic they had. They took pride in doing a great job!  

I was also astounded by the beauty in the art that was created to depict the "pickers" lives. It also caught me off guard that something so incredibly dirty and ugly could be made beautiful. The reality of that in our lives is profound. It really does resonate that one man's trash is another man's treasure!  We should be looking within and beyond to find the beauty not only in our lives but also in the lives of others and our surroundings. How can we make something beautiful out of the trash that surrounds us?

I also thought about how this can translate for me in the project at Martin Middle School. I have these areas of concern for the people in the Holly Street Community but I need to not let my concerns, viewpoints or stereotypes interfere with seeing the community for something it isn't or assuming I know the lives of others and that they might be unhappy with the way their life has gone.  Quite honestly, I should assume the best rather than the worst.  It would be a mistake to think they are lacking or prefer life another way.  I need to interview and get to know individuals and make my concerns valid by knowing what they truly need and where their priorities lie. It would be easy to alienate them by assuming I know their lives.  By getting to know the kids, teachers, and community members, I have an opportunity to see the beauty that exists now and help create the beautiful picture that is to come.

I look forward to the  relationships I will build with the people of Martin Middle School and the Holly Street Community. I feel confident they have so much to teach me about the beauty in their lives!